Harris Teeter Bathrooms

I have a terrible habit of staying up insanely late when Doug goes to bed early.
If we don't go to sleep at the same time then I revert back to my younger years when staying up past 10 was normal.

All this to say I have *another* Harris Teeter bathroom story to tell. See this link (2 years ago - just after Daniel was born) to refresh yourself on a similar horror story. Seriously. I'm not quite sure why my children love the Harris Teeter bathrooms.

Jeremy has this thing. Perhaps it is some sort of psychological trigger. Perhaps it is knowing that his mother hates going into public bathroom. Every single time we get to the frozen food section in Harris Teeter he has to go to the bathroom. Every. Single. Time.

Every time I ask him "Do you really have to go?" and of course you know what the answer is. So lately when he asks I've just been telling him that he really doesn't have to go - he just thinks he does. Last time he says (mind you, out loud in the frozen food section), "But Mommy! I DO have to go! My pee pee just fills up inside of me and I have to go again!". Only mildly embarassing for someone who goes out with a four year old regularly.

This time, we hit the frozen food and he says, "Mommy! I need to go potty!". I say to myself, "Self! Didn't you realize this was going to happen??? We were only going for Ritz crackers and cheese! We could have avoided the frozen food aisle completely!"

Next, I say to Jeremy, "Baby, we are NOT going to the bathroom. We're checking out right now. We will be home in 5 minutes. Hold it." (Please note, you should teach your child what 'hold it' means or he will literally 'hold *it*')

Jeremy starts throwing a little fit.

"BUT MOMMY! I NEED TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!"

I smile as the old ladies pass me with their carts and giggle.

Whispers (me): "No, you really don't. You can wait. Please, please, please wait."

"BUT MOMMY! I NEED TO POOP!"

Me: (speechless)

"BUT MOMMY I NEED TO POOP NOW! I'M GOING TO POOP RIGHT NOW!"

Old ladies now frowning at me like I am a child abuser.

Me: OK! We're going to the bathroom. Please stop screaming to the world that you need to poop!

Enter the bathroom. Praise the Lord for good Harris Teeter employees that keep clean restrooms. Also Praise the Lord that I only have 2 kids with me instead of three.

The entire time we are in the restroom, there is a constant battle going on. Daniel wants to go IN the stall with Jeremy. Jeremy needs 'privacy' (which is interesting as he feels completely uninhibited at home and would walk around naked all day long if we'd let him).

Jeremy also needs someone to hold his hands. Don't ask. You just don't want to know.

How am I supposed to keep a 2-year-old out and a 4-year-old in? And why, oh why does it take so long for him to poop at Harris Teeter but only a minute at home?

Well, after about 10 minutes in the Harris Teeter bathroom (which if you ask me is 10 minutes too long), we finally get to leave.

And now I am vowing. I'm never getting frozen foods again. Who needs to eat vegetables anyway?