There could be two.
#1 - When Daniel was born and had his umbilical cord wrapped around his neck. He came out blue and not breathing. They had to use a baby sized Ambu bag on him to get him to start. Those little masks look really cute when they're NOT using them on your newborn.
#2 - Today. At the library.
Let me first say - I already feel terrible. I have made Jeremy feel terrible too (on purpose so hopefully it never happens again). So no need to post anything about being grateful he didn't get abducted or hit by a car. I know. I am grateful too. And no need to mention it to Jeremy unless he mentions it to you. Else he'll probably start crying and tell you he was scared (which he clearly wasn't) but I told him Mommy was scared so he thinks he was. Then we have to relive the whole drama again.
Here's the story:
We were leaving story time. There are about 16 kids in the room. They open the door from the storytime room into the library. I am buckling Daniel into his stroller. I am assuming that the child standing directly behind me is Jeremy, when in fact, it is not. Jeremy has already bolted out the door.
Break in the story: Parents - When you see a child leave somewhere, Do you not stop the child and say, "Let's wait for Mommy?"?!?! I've done this with no less than 20 children probably that have tried to escape with my crowd during story time over the past year. Apparently the favor was not returned.
I turn around and to my horror realize that Jeremy is not there. No panicking yet. Surely he is playing with the computers. Nope. Alright, the puzzles? Nope. A little panicking. The puppet theater at the back of the children's section?!?!?! Nope!!! Alright, FULL BLOWN PANICKING! Where is my child???????
I careen through the children's deparment (with Daniel in the stroller) like a bat out of you-know-where. I am heading to the librarians desk when I see a librarian walk in FROM THE PARKING LOT with my child. The relief I felt at that moment was more than even when labor is over. Seriously.
You see, last night I had a crazy pregnancy dream. Someone was trying to ABDUCT both of my children. At the library. I swear, that's not made up. I think I told my mom about it this morning on Skype - before this whole incident happened. Perhaps I should pay more attention to my dreams.
The librarian told me she assumed Jeremy was with another mom walking out and she just assumed Jeremy belonged to her. What in the devil (this word edited because of younger readership) was that Mom thinking? Sorry, I normally don't do that on my blog, but honestly! If you saw a child walking out of a public place with you, would you not direct them back inside?!?!?!
I know this was totally my fault. Don't worry - I'm taking all the blame. I don't want it to sound like I'm blaming the other mom.
After the librarian saw the other mom get into her van and Jeremy just standing out 'on the bricks' as he says, she went out and got him and brought him back in. When Jeremy came back in, I gave him the super long, "Mommy was very scared and didn't know where you were" speech along with a GOOD helping of fright and everything I could possibly think of to make sure it never happens again. Jeremy told me, "But Mommy - I was standing on the bricks. I was going to wait for you. I wasn't going in the parking lot."
So what exactly should you say here? The first thing I thought was, "What if someone grabbed you?". Should you scare your child like that? I don't want my child growing up thinking that a boogie man is going to come snatch him up in the night. But child abduction is a reality! Especially when a child is STANDING OUT IN A PARKING LOT BY HIMSELF!
So I didn't go there. I told him that he could get hurt. And that Mommy was very, very, very scared. That Mommy didn't know where he was and that made her very, very, very sad. Which made him start crying. Which I was kind of glad about. Then we talked about it the ENTIRE ride home.
So I'm looking for honest opinions. I don't want to scare my child and yet I do. Does that make sense? We're going to have a serious talk tonight (with Daddy too) about stranger danger.
What do you do with your children. Has this ever happened to you? Scariest feeling ever. Ever. EVER.
A picture to help me feel better:
6 comments:
Wow. I think you had a perfectly appropriate response. Never happened to us (yet), but I imagine having a similar reaction. I like the mom that drove off leaving Jeremy alone at the curb. That was special.
I'd rather my children be scared than naive and something happen. I know I scared you when you were growing up and I apologize. I didn't want anything to happen to you. I love you and you're irreplaceable.
my used to be sister in law used to tell the kids i think including mine that the oil spots on the road were people that had stepped into the road. wow, can you believe she said that. now i wouldn't say that but i think you were perfectly reasonable to say what you did
I think that you've said enough. At his age, I'm not sure that he could absorb much more. If he brings it up again, you could go into a little more detail about why you were so scared.
To be honest, I probably wouldn't have stopped a kid walking out on his own. We live in a very hands-off era where people tend to err on the side of minding their own business. I've seen lots of parents who let their little kids walk WAY further in front of them than I would let mine. Now, if we got all the way to the van and I saw that he was just standing there, I would at least look around to see if a parent was walking toward him or something.
So sorry you had to experience that this morning, the fear you felt and telling what happened may lead other parents to talking to their children, too. I just read in the newspaper yesterday about a lady who was in a regional libray, she said a young boy came up to her and asked if her name was Grandma. She told him as a matter of fact it was, he then told her he was lost and would she help him find his mother. When this lady found his mother, the mother told her she told her children if they got lost, they should ask a grandmother or police officer to help them. Her thought was there are more grandmothers than police officers. Many mothers have taught their children this---find a police officer, a security guard, a store employee, or a mother with children. Add grandmother too!
In this incident Jeremy didn't think he was lost, he was just waiting for you. If our children only knew all the prayers we lift up to God to protect and keep them safe, and the prayers we also pray now for our grandchildren, too. After hearing today's episode, I am reminded, it's prayer time again, God! And I give thanks to the way it turned out, and thanks to the librarian who brought Jeremy back in.
Love you all, good luck with your talk tonight.
Maw-maw
I'm with you this is so scary. I can only imagine what you were thinking. I'm with you stop a child that is heading out of a door with an adult and if you're that adult and it's not your child stop and ask the kid "where's your mom?" It's hard enough out here we've got to look out for each other.
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