Mompetition

Yup. Mompetition.

You know what I'm talking about.

Me: Jeremy is finally potty trained!

Another Mom: Really? __________ has been potty trained since last year at this time. Aren't they about the same age?

You know what I realized the other day? We all need to get over ourselves! When I feel like another mom is judging me, I think I need to ask myself a few questions:
1. Do I really care?
A lot of times the questions and condescending stares are from people I don't even really know! Does her opinion really matter to me? Maybe I should think on this before I get upset!

2. Am I being overly sensitive?
Let's face it. The number one reason why I'm upset that one mom is comparing her kid to mine, is insecurity! I'm insecure about my own parenting. Should I be doing something different? Perhaps I should be working more with Jeremy on drawing. He can, after-all draw a semblance of a circle, but that's about it. I don't ever sit down with him and make him color. That's it! Coloring and tracing now for at least 4 hours every day! Yes, drill sergeant!
The sensitivity does not come from the fact that I really think he needs to do something better. He's my son. I think he's perfect no matter what. It's from the fact that I think I might be doing something wrong - not him.

3. Am I misjudging 'other moms' intentions?
Case in point: a mom friend of mine was telling me about her frustrations with potty training. She said something about her son being potty trained and I said something like, "Well, I found it easier just to keep telling myself that mine wasn't potty trained until he was telling me he actually had to go. If I have to remind him, then I am potty trained, not him."
She came up to me a few weeks later and said, "You know what, you were right. First I was like, 'You don't know my son' and then I realized that it was really true."
Now I realize that I probably offended her without even knowing it! Ooooops. That wasn't the intent. It just helped me to know that I was still in the trenches - not finishing the war.

I also had an experience the other day where Daniel had something all over his face when we got somewhere. I told another mom, "Sorry, he doesn't like to have his face washed". She looked at me and said, "That's when you just hold him down!".
I don't know why it irritated me so much! I'm SURE she wasn't judging me when she said it, I was just misjudging her intentions.

All this to say, I'm done with Mompetition. It's not all that cool. When someone gives me advice, I will take it as such - advice. I do not have to take it. I might. But honestly I probably won't. I'll keep doing it my stupid way.

And you know what? You have my permission to do the exact same. I'll try not to butt in too much. But know that if I tell you a certain thing I did with one of my kids that helped, that I'm really probably just trying to offer some help. I promise I'm not comparing my kid to yours. I know what works with one, may not work with another - but then again, it might...