Whole 30 Hades

Sooooooooooo.

Yeah. 

We went on this crazy insane diet. 

I lasted 6 whole days.  6 whole days I tell you!!!!

I was supposed to last 30.  30 tiny little days. 

It's supposed to be a diet that 'resets' your body and reduces inflammation.  So we're thinking it would finally fix my back (and Doug's allergies) and if I could do something as easy as eat a specific diet for 30 days, then why wouldn't I do it, right?  Right????

So here is why I thought I could do it (and I was wrong.  So wrong.):
You can eat all that you want.  You just can only eat certain stuff.  Like meat and veggies.  No preservatives, no diary, no sugar, no beans, no corn, no potatoes.  No to a lot.  But you can eat all the meat and veggies you want!  So do-able, right?  Right????

I learned SO stinkin' much during this diet, but not what you would think. 

Things I learned on the diet:

1.  I am not skinny because of what I eat or how much I work out.  I am skinny because my thyroid is berserk and I am blessed with skinny genes.  I am not a 'healthy' person.  I could not run a mile.  Seriously.  I think I already knew this, but this diet just helped confirm.

2.  I have no self control.  Zero.  Zilch.  None.  Pretty sure the *only* reason I lasted even 6 days was because I put it on facebook.  And I promised my husband I would do it.  And I really, really, really wanted my back to be fixed. 

3.  There are LOTS of different 'appetites' in life.  Controlling any of them is hard.  For some odd reason, this became a spiritual thing for me. 

Let's say you have an appetite for a particular type of sin in your life.  For some reason I kept thinking about affairs (probably because we kept referring to going off the diet as 'cheating').  You really want this one thing, but you know you shouldn't have it.  People come up with a million seemingly good reasons why they should get it. 
1.  My wife/husband really isn't paying attention to me.
2.  We really didn't think things through before we got married - It was probably a mistake.
3.  We were young and stupid.
4.  My secretary actually knows me better than my wife, we spend more time together.
5.  I'm not happy with him/her, don't I 'deserve' to be happy?

While I was on the diet, I also had a million seemingly good reasons why I should come off of it. 
1.  Allie is throwing up
2.  Daniel is throwing up
3. Jeremy is throwing up
4.  I am throwing up (Dear stomach bugs: I hate you)
5. Being grumpy all the time makes me a bad mommy.  Not eating chocolate makes me grumpy.
6.  We are wasting so much food! (The kids - there was no one to eat that left over grilled cheese)
DON'T I DESERVE A FREAKIN' BUTTERFINGER?!?

I'm telling you, I was one hot mess.  I mean, seriously.  Moody, irrational, grumpy. 

Looking back I can say, "Girl!  What was your problem?  You weren't hungry!"

You see, in the moment it seems *SO* serious.  I will absolutely die if I do not get a piece of cheese. 

And then looking back it doesn't seem serious at all. 

Can you think of a situation like this in your life?  I can think of about 40. 

So what is the moral of this story?  I'm not sure.  Apparently I have no self control.  Is there some website where I can order some more of this mysterious goodness? 

Better yet, do you have any for real tips on how to get myself some control?  :)