Mom Math

Every Mother's Day since I have been a mom, I have grown more appreciative of my own mother. I thought of her while writing this blog, but it can apply to any mom out there. Coincidentally my mother-in-law also has three children so this would fit really well for her too. I am also very appreciative of her since she did such a fabulous job raising my husband! Guess who else also has three children - my step-mom. Doesn't that make this blog easy for me?? It's a good thing too because the math got kinda difficult and I would hate to have to have done it more than once! Anyway, Doug and I talk all the time about how blessed we are to have such great grandparents for our children. Today we are honoring grandmothers.

Here's the blog:

Since I am a woman of science, I try to quantify most things. I was telling Jeremy 'No' a couple of days ago. I started wondering how many times a day I say 'No' or some variation of it (Nope, No sir, Don't even think about it, uh uh...you get the point). Then I started thinking about how many times a day I say it. Then I started thinking about how many times a week I say it. Then I started thinking about how many times in his life I will say the word 'No' to him. Honestly, it got a little tiring. So mom, this math is just for you (alright, they're just estimations, but you get the point):

Number of times in your life you have (or will have):

Taught a teenager to drive - 3
Been through labor - 3
Stayed up most of the night with a sick child = 3 times/year * 4 years * 3 kids = 36
Cleaned up vomit - 4 times/year * 8 years * 3 years = 96
Stayed up all night waiting on a teenager to come home - Laurina (1) + Charlie (100) = 101
Woke up for a night feeding - 2 times a night * 30 nights/month * 3 months * 3 kids = 540
Wiped away tears - 30 times/year * 5 years + 10 times/year * 5 years * 3 kids = 600
Cleaned up a potty accident - 4 times/day * 30 days/ month * 6 months * 3 kids = 2,160
Nursed a baby - 6 times a day * 30 days/month * 8 months * 3 kids = 4,320
Wiped a snotty nose - 15 times/day * 5 days of cold * 4 times a year * 5 years old * 3 kids = 4,500
Chauffeured to extracurricular activities - 3 per week * 45 weeks/year * 12 years * 3 kids = 4,860
Loads of Laundry - 3 loads/week *52 weeks * 18 years * 3 kids = 8,424
Went to the bathroom with an audience - 2 times/day * 365 days/year * 4 years * 3 kids = 8,760
Changed (and washed) a cloth diaper - 8/day * 30 days/month * 24 months * 3 kids = 17, 280
Heard "I love you mom" - 5 times/day * 365 days/year * 15 years = 27,375
Cooked/bought meals for your kids = 3 meals/day * 365 days/year *18 years * 3 kids = 59,130
Prayed for your children - 4 times/day * 365 days/year *18 years * 3 kids = 78,840

Made your children feel like the most important people in the world (the sum of all these numbers) - 217,028



These were just some random things I picked. I only calculated up to 18 years of age. Some of the numbers would be a lot higher if I kept going. Can you imagine how many times a mom prays for her 18 - 22 year old a day??? And of course I just estimated all my numbers. In most cases I just guessed an average number over multiple years. Some of them seem a little off because it seems as if I've already cleaned more than 2,160 potty accidents and I've only potty trained one child. You honestly just don't know how much work one puts into being a mom until you become one. Your entire life revolves around being a mom and what is good for your children. The numbers just don't do it justice - but they are interesting!

Oh, and no - I didn't calculate how many times I will say no to Jeremy in my life. I don't have a calculator that will compute a number that high...